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Vocal Sex: Communication as the Key to Better Sex
Communication with your partner is the key to enjoying better sex. This shouldn't be surprising, yet it is probably the most difficult part about being intimate with a partner. Many remain quietly dissatisfied, going so far as faking sexual satisfaction. You cannot expect your partner to know what feels good without as much as a cue, especially if you have never expressed any sort of dissatisfaction before.
The reluctance to talk comes from fear of rejection or that you will harm the other's feelings. But your partner may want to talk as well, but fears that they will be rejected or hurt you in turn. Even in a good and loving relationship where trust is important, sex is often a sensitive subject to most people. While difficult, creating an open dialogue about sex produces results that both can be happy about, resulting in a better relationship overall. Here are a few tips to keep in mind about talking to your partner.
Try writing down what it is that you want, whether it is in a letter to your partner or a list. You don't have to show it to them if you don't want to, but writing it out and seeing it on paper may clear up what you're thinking. It will force you to clear up any muddled thoughts. Ask yourself how your partner may interpret what you are trying to communicate - look at the points through their eyes. Broach the topic sensitively, and try not to simply communicate a list of complaints. Instead, phrase it as much as you can as suggestions you would like to try.
Decide when is the best moment for the talk, although keep in mind just before or after sex will probably not be the most desirable. Make sure you are alone, and that you have enough time to talk - don't just throw this out there ten minutes before either of you have to go out the door. Give your partner time to respond, or time to process if needed.
Anorgasmia
Do you have trouble reaching climax during sex, no matter how excited and ready you are? Then you may be one of the many women suffering from anorgasmia, and not even know it.
Most sexual health research has been devoted to troubles that have plagued men. A man has several options when it comes to curing ailments like erectile dysfunction, including but not limited to surgery, prescription drugs, or supplements. Now serious attention is being taken to your needs.
Now it's time for the attention to be on you. Women have been sexually dissatisfied for years, but until the latter part of the 20th century sex was widely perceived as simply a woman's duty. According to research, 10% to 15% of women have never had an orgasm either by themselves or with a partner, and somewhere between 30 to 50% of women have frequent difficulty reaching orgasm. That's 40% to 65% of women who are dissatisfied with their sex lives.
Recently a group of women's sexual health experts came up with a more precise definition of anorgasmia:
Despite the self-report of high sexual arousal/excitement, there is either a lack of orgasm, markedly diminished intensity of orgasmic sensations or marked delay of orgasm from any kind of stimulation.
While anorgasmia does happen to males, it is far more likely to affect females. There has been very little study of male anorgasmia.
